It's Hard Not To...

It's hard.......it's really hard.  It's so hard that my heart begins to bleed at the idea of not trying. I feel that if I don't, everything will change.  Feelings will dull, memories will fade, my heart will move, and that which made me so rich will become cheapened by shiny things ahead.  As healthy as it may be in the minds of some; I can't help but feel from my heart, that I would be betraying myself if I didn't keep an eye ahead and an a eye behind. Some people can effect us in such profound ways, sometimes it can be necessary to move on without those special influences. But on rare occasion, despite how dramatically circumstances between you can change, something inside stops you from walking away. It's hard not to look back.

I turn to glance.......I see her silhouette against an empty wall, the shimmer in her enchanting eyes, the wave through her flowing hair, the glow in her subtle countenance. My breath leaves my chest all over again, as if it's my first time laying eyes. In that moment everything slips away from my focus and all I can see or feel, is her. How is it done? How can small features, moments, details have such profound implications in the way we feel? How does the sound of her voice bring an overwhelming sense of safety? How does the memory of her embrace still cause me the greatest sense of achievement? How is it when I look into a crowd and imagine her standing amidst hundreds of strangers, I still shiver with anxious excitement? The feelings caused by what the heart latches to, are so powerful that often they give us reasons to move. Sometimes it can be hard to remember why we work hard, why we try to be likable, why we strive to do good, why we chase after our dreams. But within our hearts lies the inevitable truth that applies to all who breath, love is our greatest motivation. These feelings I reflect upon, they are what fuel my movement, my aspirations, my breath.

Anthony Hopkins in the film "Meet Joe Black" plays the character Bill Parish. His character gives this perfectly worded advice to his daughter who is amidst much confusion on the subject of love.

"To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well ya haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

If falling in love is one of the most essential parts of living, how can we move past it so quickly once it becomes complicated, confused, or lost? It's almost as if we should reach out as far as we can to hold on to the love that came our way and never forget the gift that it was. How can you cheapen the value of something that you held so precious for a time by moving past it the second your circumstances change? Sometimes you have to forget and move forward, but other times, it feels important to hold on to what we had, to look back and love what we were given.  Even if what you had will never come to be yours again, you can still love what you had. So as I reluctantly move forward, I can't help but follow my hearts desire, and keep one eye fixed on what was to continue my journey ahead. Sometimes it can be hard to look forward, but I feel, it's harder not to. So...How Do I Sound?

Breathing...

Sometimes, it can be really hard to breathe.  Stress begins to pent up in our chest, our mind becomes jammed up with confusion, and shoulders become heavy with burden.  Where does all of that come from? Is it forced upon us by others? Does it creep into our lives on it's own and infect us? No one does this to us, no one forces us to to lose control over aspects of our lives.  We do it to ourselves.  We allow ourselves to become distracted, distanced, overwhelmed; We forget to breathe.

Breathing is thee most basic natural principle of life. As you sleep, as you wake, as you live, you breathe.  We never stop breathing, but breathing out of habit is not the same as remembering to breathe. Breathing has been proven to relieve stress, calm ferocity, increase endorphins, stimulate the mind, and increase quality of living.  Most importantly, it can bring peace to one's soul.  As we take time to stop, and breathe, we allow our soul a solitary moment of peace.  We can clear our mind of our pains and allow ourselves to focus on our hearts.  The heart has a tendency to trip over our mind and become tangled together.  When we stop to breathe, we stop thinking about everything else, in with the good and out with the bad.  To take the time to stop and focus on something so simplistic as breathing, it gives us the opportunity to achieve clarity from our confusion.

There have been times in my life when I became so confused, so frustrated, that it became hard to breathe.  I was so mixed up that it was hard to perform the most basic operation of living.  I really had to focus and stop thinking about everything, but breathing.  And in those moments I achieved such perfect peace in my soul, not in my mind, but in my soul.  Everything between our body's and spirit's are tied together to create the soul.  To give peace to ones soul is to achieve clarity in our decisions, happiness in our lives, and comfort through our struggles.  I strive to breathe better, to breathe deeper, and to always remember that no matter how hard things become, no matter how dark the night gets, to just keep breathing.  So....How Do I Sound?